The 3-Step system every female speaker needs to conquer the stage with raw, honest stories (even if you’re just starting out)

Welcome to the “Beyond Words” newsletter, where I, a recovering TV anchor, help 1 time pressed woman tell 1 better story about herself on stage.

🎧 You can listen to it here

Today’s newsletter is brought to you by Marie Incontrera

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I’m a little obsessed with the Netflix series “Baby Reindeer.”

Have you seen it?

It’s pretty dark, so buyer beware.

But it’s the incredible writing that compelled me to watch it 3 times.

The central character is a Scottish man trying to make it as a comedian on the London scene. Richard Gadd adopts several “camp” and over-the-top personas while he’s trying to “make it.”

Night after night, he speaks to barely there crowds.

Night after night, he makes no money.

And to boot–some really bad things happen.

In Episode 5, he has a ‘come-to-jesus’ moment on stage.

The dam really breaks.

He stops his comedy act short, heaves himself on a stool, and starts talking.

He shares all of it.

The good. The bad. The really ugly.

It’s a story he had never shared before.


We’ve just spent the last four days in France planning my Mastermind’s first TED style talks for the stage. (The 4-day retreats, btw, are one of my favorite offerings in my entire business.)

I always ask this question on Day 3:

“What is a story you have never shared before?”

Now, it’s always a seminal moment in the progress of the retreat.

  • Folks are familiar enough with one another.
  • Feel safe enough with one another.
  • They have spent 48 hours together.

Folks share stories their own mothers have never heard.

But, unlike, Richard Gadd, they aren’t necessarily ready to boil it down and share THAT story with the world come the TED style talks on stage come November.

So—Here is the simple yet highly effective system I use to get women ready for the stage with their stories.


What is a topic you care about? What is a breakthrough you had?

Richard Gadd has his “breakthrough” when an audience member recorded his “break down,” which went viral.

Ironically, that’s when his career took off. Agents started calling. Podcasts were booking. He was on stages everywhere.

If you were honest with yourself, what story would you share?


What is your message around that share?

Do you have a unique position on it?

What is an assumption you want to challenge?

What’s something that doesn’t make sense and needs explaining?

In episode 7, a friend asks Gadd how the comedy is going. She had seen the confessional video.

He replies, “Oh, I’ve given up. There’s nothing like getting everything you want in life to realize it’s not for you.”


What is universal about your message?

Why do people need to hear this talk now?

Everyone is chasing something. Impressions. Likes. Fame. Infamy.

“Baby Reindeer” had a great run at the National Theater in London’s West End.

That stage production got turned into a Netflix series.

All because Richard Gadd obsessively wrote and captured his own raw and honest experience that nobody else could lay claim to.

And then—–he dared to share it.

Most of my clients wished they had started telling their personal story sooner. But —They hire a professional speaking coach like me to help them navigate how to tell it elegantly.

You can get my 5-step guide on how I crafted my first TEDx Talk by clicking here.

Whenever you’re ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

1.Join the Samita Lab Mastermind. Join 7 other women leaders in the core program that sits at the center of my business model. The Mastermind teaches you exactly how to build a powerful person brand and the mindset to support it. It culminates in a TEDx talk on stage in front of 200 people at the end.

I only enroll for this program once a year.

The waitlist is open for the Class of 2025.

2. If you’re struggling to say ‘no’ gracefully at work, I created a free download here with scripts 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼 (15,000 downloaded)

I’ll add to it each week.

3. Help! I need confidence!  Join 2500 people in taking my mini-public speaking Masterclass. Learn to organize a compelling talk and my framework for making it super easy.

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