As the holidays approach, some of the most important scripts to have tucked in my back pocket are the ones to change the subject, say my weight/my body is off limits, or make it known that this political debate is making me uncomfortable.
Four tips to set boundaries with a loved one, gently and lovingly, this holiday
I’m a very social person, but I also need alone time to recharge and reset. The holidays can be system overload. I like to manage expectations ahead of time and share that I may need to slip away. Here is a suggested script:
My trainer works 7 days a week. She was debating whether she needed to be at a large family gathering or take Christmas day to rest. She is a single mom and wanted to establish some traditions with her own daughter. She lives near her folks and sees them often.
We talked it through.
She journaled all the reasons WHY she would make the decision to stay home. It was important for her to be in alignment with the decision before announcing it to others. Here is a script she used:
She also thought about ‘WHEN’ and ‘WHERE’ to share the decision. She decided to tell hem early. It freed up her parents to take that Caribbean vacation they always wanted to take.
She was also intentional about ‘WHERE’ to share the decision. She shared it on the phone, versus text.
You can manage your boundaries or manage other people’s feelings, but you can’t do both.
If you struggle with asserting boundaries or just needs some prompts to get you started this holiday, here are several in this video
It’s okay to need a break if you’re hosting.
It’s okay to need alone time if you’re visiting.
Lead with “Unfortunately …”
Make it clear.
Clearly explain your plans.
Plan ahead. Send an email following up
Set an ‘end’ time.